


a creature so solid must have room for a soul

by semnai



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Moth Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Moth!Jon, Wings, martin is and will always be the most supportive loving boyfriend ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25777702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semnai/pseuds/semnai
Summary: Jon knew he wouldn't be able to hide forever, but he supposes if anyone was to see him, andhis wings, the best he could hope for would be Martin.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 27
Kudos: 353





	a creature so solid must have room for a soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dathen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dathen/gifts).



> Thank you SO MUCH to @dathen for their help with edits and such (and also to whom this lil ficlet is gifted).
> 
> Inspired by [this](https://meltedeyeballs.tumblr.com/post/625539090831540224/you-never-truly-realize-just-how-complex-the) fanart!
> 
> Title from the poem [Very Large Moth by Craig Arnold](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/56460/very-large-moth)
> 
> _a creature so solid must have room for a soul  
>  and if this is so why not in a creature_

Jon clutches at his middle like a lifeline. He feels like he should be shaking, he feels like he should be  _ disgusted  _ with himself, but instead there's a helpless, quiet elation at his becoming. His... his...  _ wings  _ (he grimaces even as he thinks the word) are held tight against his back and sides, almost as if someone placed a blanket over him. It's comforting, and Jon  _ does  _ hate that. Jon tries and fails not to think of how his friends will react when they see him; not that he's been human for a while, but now there's  _ proof _ , the Ceaseless Watcher's blessing and curse.

"Jon? Jon, are you there? I haven't--ah, ouch." Martin's voice echoes down the hallway, and Jon curls inward on himself more. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide forever, but he supposes if anyone was to see him, at least it was Martin. Beautiful, lovely, kind Martin, who has always deserved more than him. Jon knows he would barely survive a rejection from him. But Martin wouldn't. Martin loves him, right? He wouldn't, Martin loves him. Jon repeats it like a mantra as Martin's footsteps grow close.

The door creaks open.

"Jon? Hah, watch out for that side table down the hallway, I just--" Martin's words stutter to a halt as he finally lays eyes on Jon. Takes in Jon, and the brown moth-like wings that have sprouted from his back, each with two pale yellow-white eyespots, staring back at Martin like another set of eyes. "Oh." For a second Martin is frozen, as Jon looks pleadingly back at him, ashamed. 

Martin takes one hesitant step forward, and then another, and another, until he's only a foot away. Jon longs to reach out and pull him close, his only comfort. "Jon?" Martin whispers. "Are you... are you okay?"

Jon gives a broken, hollow laugh. "As okay as ever I suppose." He takes a deep, shuddering breath. Unable to hide the desperate plea in his voice, Jon asks, "Martin, what do you think?"

Martin opens and closes his mouth, his brow knitted in thought. He reaches out suddenly, but he sharply inhales, and lets his hand fall. "They're..." he breathes, hushed. Jon clenches his fists as he braces himself for rejection as the monster he is. "They're beautiful." 

The sharp pain of relief cuts through Jon's chest at these words, and he cannot stop the wounded keen that escapes his lips. "Are they really?" he asks helplessly, his voice hoarse with desperation and disbelief, unable to shake his fear that maybe, just maybe, this will be the thing that turns Martin against him.

"Oh, Jon," says Martin, and finally,  _ finally  _ he gathers Jon up in his arms, slipping behind the wings to hold him tight. Martin's hands are warm as he runs them soothingly up and down Jon's back. "Yes." Jon can hear the frown in his voice. Martin pulls back slightly to look Jon in the eye. "They  _ are  _ beautiful. Jon,  _ you're  _ beautiful," he says forcefully. 

Almost without thought, Jon leans forward to press a kiss to Martin's lips, soft and reverent, and Jon's wings fold over them both. At least in this moment, there is peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Trying to get myself out of a long period of writer's block, so I hope to have more new fics soon! Comments and kudos are love. <3


End file.
